How Are They For

Category: philosophy

3/10/14

That maybe I want to be a doctor for the wrong reasons, but that I want to be a person for the right ones. 

Are they exclusive? 

The greatest good is done by the greatest teachers. People do not need to be healed, they need to be educated to heal themselves and heal each other. 

Maybe medicine as it is practiced in this country is more a tool of fear than it is a tool of hearing–a way to make us afraid of death of bacteria of sickness and through that fear to shy away from our peers. 

To separate ourselves.

What are the  qualities of antiquity? What will be remembered, what will age well, what will be beautiful in 100 years’ time–what mundane objects will people put in their homes, recontextualized and heavy with some abstracted sense of history. 

A partial list: 

1. The dead body of a pregnant woman, encased in silica, crushed in an avalanche, “amazing that we used to give birth that way once,” 

2. A room filled with plastic chairs, arranged perfectly facing an empty stage. The doors and windows and etc. were all boarded up and sealed shut during some kind of chemical warfare scare. No one disturbed the chairs–they are uncovered in perfect solidarity, prostrate before the empty stage.

3. old paperback books because they are beautiful still and will become more beautiful when they are gone. perhaps

4. objects that are generally considered fragile. Glass and pretty dresses, bits of jewelery, that come out of the other side of time as soldiers. dusty but whole. 

Dusty but whole–a want like splitting pomegranates. 

if I ever have children, I want to raise them in poverty, to teach them humility and the importance of Achieving. The people I meet I like the most come from nothing. I want my child to hunger, and I think the baseless desire to acquire more is counterproductive to true growth and in fact detrimental to our young. 

I want my child to hurt–and I will have nothing him to give her but my knowledge and my heart. 

I think about having kids a lot, which is weird. I guess it’s my biological time. 

Someday my biological clock will sit in someone’s living room, “they used to keep time by their hearts. before being transplanted into critical yeast cultures, man was once slave to his biology.” 

 

Science is a worth pursuit. As is any pursuit that is done completely and honestly. I think most frustrating about people around me is their indifference to everything and the relentlessness with which they pursuit that indifference. Anxieties about saturday nights and fucking, alcohol and drugs–to give away this time? When the body is so strong. The mind so hungry for knowledge. 

 

where i am, I think

My goal in life is to notice the unnoticed, I think. I keep getting wrapped up in “helping people,” but never in a way that I understand, my body understands, my heart understands. I work for organizations that, become mechanized, do not touch anymore. So many people and projects and names and moving parts, they take on a life, a self-protection, that is necessarily uninterested in anything but its life.

And that’s not always true, but it’s true enough for me now. I want to notice the unnoticed. I want to care about the people around me, to surprise strangers with my own kindness and to create conversation, force conversation with people who are unlike myself. I do not want to home the homeless, or shower the poor in wealth; I want only to be myself with them. I only want to be close to them and to give them something small. 

There are no People who are suffering, there are only people who are suffering. We are all tormented by the very power that gives us the capacity to be tormented and it is that thing that also allows us to care. I do not want to end suffering, I only want to notice it and to introduce myself to it, “Hi, my name is raghav. I do not have a profession or a job, I do not have much money, but here are two slices of pizza I thought we could eat together.” 

And sometimes those touches turn into something much deeper and more beautiful, symbiotic recognizing of life. 

Suffering is good. But being untouched by suffering, unwilling to abraid it with the coarseness of your own humanity is not good, I think. 

I want to do small goods for the rest of my life, unconcerned with the labels of “wrong,” that I believe are created only to fulfill an artificial sense of goodness and sharing. I want to learn every language and introduce myself to everyone just once.

freedom

 

I stopped writing here because it felt silly and still feels silly. All these systems of likes and comments and stats; there’s something about it that makes me uneasy, especially when I myself begin caring about them. 

But having left Palestine and having been looking back on it, … So many thoughts. And I think the most salient, the most frustrating about my 3 months in Nablus was a simple truth: you are what you believe you are. I  feel a bit queasy when my writing starts to sound like self-help shit, but the difference i think is that I recognize the subjectivity of what I say. And in fact, surrender myself to that subjectivity. I do not think there are rights and wrongs, only the systems which we construct that let us negotiate rights and wrongs. And some of those systems are more exciting than others.

Palestinians, [ all people ], chose to dwell on their unfreedoms. The checkpoints, the constraints, the deaths, the symptoms of occupation. They let the occupation dispower them. they LET the occupation take their freedom away. I think.

When you say you are unfree, you are unfree. I never had a conversation with someone saying, “yes I am occupied by israel, but I am yet a concert of eyes and arms and ears, I can yet learn and grow and become stronger. And though it is hard for me to travel, to leave this country, yet I will find ways to become someone greater.”

We are given many  gifts, and to choose to look at the things we do not have instead of the things we have… It’s childish.

And it’s easy for me, so free, to condemn their stillness, their sorrow, right? But we are all enslaved and occupied. Facebooks and payments and social obligations, money and jobs and the things we cannot do, the things we can, always trying to get someplace else, meet a new girl. There are no 18 year old israeli kids at my checkpoints, but there are pricetags and judgements and strangers who spit on me. There are my parents, my families, my body, my own sadness.   

I do not want to inspire people, I only want people to not hold me and others down with their egoism and their judgements. I am what I believe I am. It is the greatest gift of being man, that we construct in our minds. If you want something, you go and get it. And there are limitations, there are people who are truly unfree, who worse than dealing with their own enslavement must account for the enslavement and safety of their childrens and families… 

I don’t know. Simple truths: don’t waste your time, don’t hurt others to take what you want, construct. 

zaytoun: a call for the nonviolent liberation of the palestinian people by the palestinian people

I have written this with the help of some Palestinian friends, and believe it to be the only option left the nation of Palestine. We have all of us, citizens of the world, been too long lost and taken advantage of by the powers that seek to rob all of man of its humanity. I hope there rings in this second draft something that rings of truth.

Zaytoun

A call for the nonviolent liberation of the Palestinian people by the Palestinian people

It is our belief that the end of the Israeli Occupation of Palestine can only come when the Palestinian people unite under a single banner of nonviolence. It is our goal to weave and plant this banner in the heart of the Palestinian nation and beckon the winds to keep the banner waving.

Our fathers’ fathers have grown up in chains and this nation has forgotten what it means to be free. The Palestinian people have died beside the Palestinian people, prisoners in their own homes, wrists and ankles shackled. We would sink if not for the thickness of our earth, Palestine.

Growing up unfree, we have become overaccustomed to the current habit of conflict, a habit that tears holes in our homes, leaving beds empty, and has taken our brothers from beside us and put them behind bars of glass in metal frames where they will live forever after. We have allowed ourselves to accept the methodologies of our enemy and have allowed their weapons to become our weapons.

In chains, we have learned to hate.

In jails, we have learned to anger.

In fear, we have listened to the raining of bullets and the snowing of missiles, the thunder of tanks and the weathers of violence, and conflated them with victory for they were in the hands of our oppressors.

But we have made a great error, for we have confused our enemies with the innocent and have unwittingly surrendered ourselves to harvesting hate for a machine of violence. We have each of us become farmers in the pastures of our souls, planting blood and feeding its fruit to a tireless machine, a worship of hate. It is this machine that we must fight, not its puppets.

When we allow ourselves to hate, we feed a conflict that feeds on our hate, we make it impossible for our people to liberate themselves. For our freedom can only come when the Palestinian people unite under a desire to end conflict, not persist it. When we use violence we call violence upon ourselves and justify a hate that desires the death of all man, a hate that seeks to make us forget that our enemies are human, a hate that seeks to make our enemies for that we are human.

It is our belief that the liberation of our people will come when we DECIDE no longer to be occupied, for in submitting to the dialogue of violence we are implicitly supporting the reign of the occupation over us. It is our belief that we must use the only true resource left the Palestinian people: our bodies and our wills. We must force the Israeli people to recognize that they have been fooled into thinking that we are unlike them. We must force the world to remember that the Palestinian people are.

We must force them to see that our government has been purchased by our oppressor and that our olive trees are being stolen, our streets are being destroyed, and our nation is turning into a series of islands in a sea of death. We are disappearing slowly and by reacting against our misfortune with violence, we play into the system that facilitates our disappearance. We erase ourselves.

Previous attempts at wresting the Palestinian people free have failed because they were dependent upon broken systems, and did not recognize the possibility of the Palestinian people freeing themselves, they have relied on politics and weapons that do not work in the hands of the oppressed. They have been unclear in their goals, unclear in their methodologies and have been so numerous and separate that no one cause has been able to achieve the critical mass necessary to act in concert.

Our goal is clear: The end of the Israeli Occupation of Palestine, which we define as follows.

I. The nation of Palestine will be demarcated by the lines drawn in 1949 and will be constituted of the what are now known as the West Bank and the Gaza Strip. We cannot identify our goal as the destruction of the nation of Israel, for we must be the first to vie for compromise or else the circle of violence will never end. Unmoving, solid compromise.

II. The people of Palestine will be given to governing themselves, exercising complete political, social, and economic autonomy insofar as is possible in the world today.

III. All walls, physical and otherwise, meant solely to constrain, inhibit, force, and in any way discomfort the Palestinian people must be torn down, for they were constructed by the machine of hate so that our enemy would not see us our eyes and noses and arms and legs and instead envision us as invisible animals. Robbed of sight, we confuse the innocent for our enemies.

IV. All Palestinians abroad who have been displaced by the aggression and violence of the Israeli nation must be given express Right of Return, and the cost must be covered by both the nations of Palestine and Israel, as a gesture of future peace and a moving past from years of blind oppression.

V. Once the nation of Palestine is established, all Israeli settlers will be given the choice to either return to Israel or to continue to live their lives as our brothers and sisters, as Palestinian Jews.

VI. East Jerusalem will be the capital of the nation of Palestine.

Our intentions are fair and our goals are just, and the world will see us as people, and as invisible animals no longer. We will achieve these goals with peace and with nonviolence, for they are the only tools left to us and the only tools of a truly just and honest cause.

We cannot let the Occupation allow us to give up, for that is its goal. To rob us of hope and to convince us that because we do not have as many weapons of violence as our enemy, we cannot win. After years of unsuccessful combat, those of our fathers and mothers and grandfathers and grandmothers who still live have allowed themselves to believe that the occupation cannot end. But that is because they fight an illusion and have had no true enemy. Our enemy is not Israel, it is the power of hate that has taught Israel to dehumanize us and consider us their enemy. And we must fight that power by choosing.

The Palestinian people must choose no longer to live under Occupation.

The Palestinian people must choose no longer to live a life of illusory stability, for the longer we wait to stop the machine, the closer we come to the complete disappearance of the nation of Palestine and its people.

Our Methodology is clear. The Palestinian people must stop cooperating. The Palestinian people from Hebron to Nablus to Jenin, from olive tree to olive tree, must turn off their lights, turn off their cars, shut down their homes, and choose no longer to live under Occupation.

We must, for the first time in history, martyr the entirety of our people with nonviolence. We must forsake food and sight and touch and breath if need be to convince the Israeli people and the world that the Palestinian people are. We must take the power back from the leaders of Palestine and the leaders of Israel who have become voices of the machine of violence, and liberate ourselves.

We must liberate ourselves not from Israel, but from the hate that governs it. We must force the Israeli people to see us as human beings again, we must force them and the people of this world to recognize that we are people, truly people who are cold in the cold and warm in the warm, we desire only the right to plant olives in our own earth and tend them and harvest their fruit and pass these trees to our children.

We must break the rules of war and violence, of global conduct, we must speak in a language that no one has ever heard, a collective voice of peace. We must starve for our freedom, and thirst for our freedom. We must be blind and poor for our freedom because the only way to remind the world and our enemies that we are filled with life is by robbing ourselves of it. We must show them, truly show them, that what they have been fooled into desiring is the death of an entire people. A living loving god-created people.

Palestinians, we must starve for our nation and we must thirst for our freedom.

We have watched man kill itself and hunger itself and strangle itself and the Great Powers of the world have written laws and rules for the global discourse and interchange of the modern human. These laws and rules condemn almost a century of crime perpetrated by the nation of Israel, yet nothing is done. Palestine, this is evidence enough that we cannot trust to the politics and empty words of the united nations of the world, for they create these rules only to protect themselves and legitimize their economic, social, and cultural monopoly of humankind. Palestine, we must cease to grovel at the feet of Presidents and Emperors and Rulers and instead stand hand in hand with the people they claim to serve.

We must appeal to humanity, and bypass the systems of power that seek to melt down the bonds of brotherhood and community to make walls and chains. Palestine, when we turn to violence our people die and the Israeli government is able to steal our land in silence while its people are more and more filled with hate for us, and the eyes of the world are turned not to the injustice of the Occupation but to the injustice of individual missiles and bombs. We may win or lose the small battles of violence, but everyday that we do not band together under a banner of nonviolence, we lose our land, our future, and our hope.

Palestine, we must turn off our lights and turn off our cars and open our doors and open the roofs of our homes to the sky. We must stand unblinking and let the light and air of Allah breathe through us and clear from us the black exhaust that we have breathed in. We must no longer trust to a single voice or a single means to achieve our freedom while we go about our days ignoring the occupation and implicitly supporting our enslavement and the enslavement of our families. We must instead, each and every last one of us fight with our two eyes that were given to us by god. With our two ears that were given to us by god. With our two legs that were given to us by god. With our two arms that were given to us by god open wide and empty palmed and eager not to kill but to emancipate.

Palestine, we will crowd the open air and we will become as a great mass of man and woman and child and when they raise their guns to us we will raise our open arms to them and some of us will die because they will know us only for our violence. But they cannot kill all of us, and we will drown them in a reminder: We are Palestine, we are not terrorists and invisible animals. When your government tells you that we die you cheer because you have forgotten that we breathe. You have forgotten that we love our children also. You have forgotten that we hunger, We are palestine, we are not terrorists and invisible animals.

Palestine, do not be tired by years of defeat, but recognize that they are evidence in the ineffectiveness of violence and the need for Zaytoun.

When they raise their guns and shoot us in our peace the world will watch and they will see the justness of our sorrow, and the Israelis will see the injustice of their governments and they will remember that we are also a people. But we must lead. We must be the first to remember that they too love and hate and hunger and thirst, for there is nothing left for us. Our land is being stolen and our mothers and fathers are becoming tired and the violence of our leaders further endangers our people and our cause, making us into terrorists for the world to continue to condemn and hate. We must be the first to remember and the last to forget that we all of us are filled with oceans of blood and our hearts are as the reflections of the stars on its surface, our dreams the clouds.

There must be one goal and one goal only: the end of the causes of the occupation, the silent, systematic dismantlement of our homeland, and the destruction of the Palestinian people. We must stop relying on others to fight for us, hoping that things will solve themselves. We must unite and liberate now.

This is greater than a movement or a political party or an organization, this is a call to prayer for the future. This is a call to prayer for our children and our families and the memories of our forefathers. This is a call for the collective action of every Palestinian to choose, instantly and perfectly, not to be occupied. Not to be occupied by Israel, not to be occupied by hate, not to be occupied by violence.

God will care for us in our travail, and the people of the world will see us for what we are: the hungry, the thirsty, the forgotten. We are, let us make sure they can never again forget. Let us be visible.

It’s funny, isn’t it? How no one seems to win when people die–

Qaph

After the dust of war started clearing and noise of rockets calmed, three of the four parties involved in Gaza war- and truce-making left satisfied while only one bears the loads of defeat… Hamas claims victory, Israel claims the campaign achieved its target; Morsi’s Egypt is more than happy with its new role on the Middle East political stage, while Palestine the people, land and dream of an independent state fades in the light of current events.

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Zaytoun: draft 1

Still much missing but a beginning.

Zaytoun A manifesto for the nonviolent liberation of the palestinian people by the palestinian people

It is our belief that the end of the Israeli Occupation of Palestine can only come when the Palestinian people unite under a single banner of nonviolence. It is our goal to weave and plant this banner in the heart of the Palestinian nation and beckon the winds to keep the banner waving.

Our fathers’ fathers have grown up in chains and this nation has forgotten what it means to be free, the Palestinian people have died beside the Palestinian people prisoners in their own homes wrists and ankles shackled we would sink if not for the thickness of our earth, Palestine.

Growing up unfree, we have become overaccustomed to the current habit of conflict, a habit that tears holes in our homes, leaving beds empty, and has taken our brothers from beside us and put them behind bars of glass in picture frames where they will live forever after. We have allowed ourselves to accept the methodologies of our enemy and have allowed their weapons to become our weapons.

In chains, we have learned to hate.

In jails, we have learned to anger.

In fear, we have listened to the raining of bullets and the snowing of missiles, the thunder of tanks and the weathers of violence, and conflated them with victory for they were in the hands of our oppressors.

But we have made a great error, for we have confused our enemies with the innocent and have unwittingly surrendered ourselves to harvesting hate for a machine of violence. We have each of us become farmers in the pastures of our souls, planting blood and feeding its fruit to a tireless machine, a worship of hate. It is this machine that we must fight, not its puppets.

When we allow ourselves to hate, we feed a conflict that feeds on our hate, we make it impossible for our people to liberate themselves. For our freedom can only come when the Palestinian people unite under a desire to end conflict, not persist it. When we use violence we call violence upon ourselves and justify a hate that desires the death of all man, a hate that seeks to make us forget that our enemies are human, a hate that seeks to make our enemies for that we are human.

It is our belief that the liberation of our people will come when we DECIDE no longer to be occupied, for in submitting to the dialogue of violence we are implicitly supporting the reign of the occupation over us. It is our belief that we must use the only true resource left the Palestinian people: our bodies and our wills. We must force the Israeli people to recognize that they have been fooled into thinking that we are unlike them in our bodies and our hearts. We must force the world to remember that the Palestinian people are.

Our methodology is clear:

As a people, we cannot let the Occupation allow us to give up, for that is its goal. To rob us of hope and to convince us that because we do not have as many weapons of violence as our enemy, we cannot win. After years of unsuccessful combat, those of our fathers and mothers and grandfathers and grandmothers who still live have allowed themselves to believe that the occupation cannot end. But that is because they fight an illusion and have had no true enemy. Our enemy is not Israel, it is the power of hate that has taught Israel to dehumanize us and consider us their enemy. And we must fight that power by choosing.

The Palestinian people must choose no longer to live under Occupation.

The Palestinian people must choose no longer to live a life of illusory stability, for the longer we wait to stop the machine, the closer we come to the complete disappearance of the nation of Palestine and its people.

Our Methodology is clear. The Palestinian people must stop cooperating. The Palestinian people from Hebron to Nablus to Jenin, from olive tree to olive tree, must turn off their lights, turn off their cars, shut down their homes, and choose no longer to live under Occupation.

We must, for the first time in history, martyr the entirety of our people with nonviolence. We must forsake food and sight and touch and breath if need be to convince the Israeli people and the world that the Palestinian people are. We must take the power back from the leaders of Palestine and the leaders of Israel who have become as slaves to the machine of violence, voices of hate, and liberate ourselves.

Palestine, we must turn of our lights and turn off our cars and open our doors and open the roofs of our homes to the sky. We must stand unblinking and let the light and air of Allah breathe through us and clear from us the black exhaust that we have breathed in. We must no longer trust to a single voice or a single means to achieve our freedom while we go about our days ignoring the occupation and implicitly supporting our enslavement and the enslavement of our families. We must instead, each and every last one of us fight with our two eyes that were given to us by god. With our two ears that were given to us by god. With our two legs that were given to us by god. With our two arms that were given to us by god open wide and empty palmed and eager not to kill but to emancipate.

Palestine, we will crowd the open air and we will become as a great mass of man and woman and child and when they raise their guns to us we will raise our open arms to them and some of us will die because they will know us only for our violence. But they cannot kill all of us, and we will drown them in a reminder: We are Palestine, we are not terrorists and animals. When your government tells you that we die you cheer because you have forgotten that we breathe. You have forgotten that we love our children also. You have forgotten that we hunger, We are palestine, we are not terrorists and animals.

Palestine, do not be tired by years of defeat, but recognize that they are evidence in the ineffectiveness of violence and the need for Zaytoun.

When they raise their guns and shoot us in our peace the world will watch and they will see the justness of our cause, and the Israelis will see the injustice of their governments and they will remember that we are also a people. But we must lead. We must be the first to remember that they too love and hate and hunger and thirst, for there is nothing left for us. Our land is being stolen and our mothers and fathers are becoming tired and the violence of our leaders further endangers our people and our cause, making us into terrorists for the world to continue to condemn and hate. We must be the first to remember and the last to forget that we all of us are filled with oceans of blood and our hearts are as the reflections of the stars on its surface, our dreams the clouds.

There must be one goal and one goal only: the end of the causes of the occupation, the silent, systematic dismantlement of our homeland, and the destruction of the Palestinian people. We must stop relying on others to fight for us, hoping that things will solve themselves. We must unite and liberate now.

We must remember and force them to remember that we have been lied to by the power of hate and violence, and that our bodies are a surface of pain and pleasure and we will use this surface as the only tool we have left.

This is greater than a movement or a political party or an organization, this is a call to prayer for the future. This is a call to prayer for our children and our families and the memories of our forefathers. This is a call for the collective action of every Palestinian to choose, instantly and perfectly, not to be occupied. Not to be occupied by Israel, not to be occupied by hate, not to be occupied by violence.

God will care for us in our travail, and the people of the world will see us for what we are: the hungry, the thirsty, the forgotten. We are, let us make sure they can never again forget.

The Yeshua army

Posted on November 21, 2012 |

Please pray immediately for the 16 wounded in a terror attempt in the center of Tel Aviv. A bus exploded and police is still looking for the terrorist. Pray that he or she is found ASAP. Pray for much protection over Israel as many Arabs can hurt from within so the danger of having a terror war escalate while we are fighting with Hamas in Gaza is big. Pray for swift recovery over the wounded!

Pray for Israel’s response to be confident and determined and no more hesitancy. Psalm 91, Psalm 83, Psalm 2

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What if instead of birds in trees there were tiny robots with eyes that knew my name. If instead of clouds there were vaportrails. If instead of silence there was buzzing. The images I am packed with of what is real and what is unreal, the things that constitute the sounds and shapes and tastes that I use in metaphors objects of my unconscious that closed eyed i believe surround me; the world being made of clouds and air and earth a science of god. the world being made of violence and the sounds of explosions far away and uncertainty, a constant chill a science of god. to live in comfort to live

In Gaza

The drones are at it, that grating sound of multiple UAVs (“drones”) circling in the sky, the disharmony of their buzzes clashing into one’s psyche, ramping up levels of frustration and terror. And since the 2008-2009 Israeli massacre of the Gaza Strip (killing over 1500 when all had succumbed to their Israeli army-inflicted wounds) I had still heard the zananas‘ whine, but it had been a while since their presence was so continuous, abrasive and terrifying.

When on Nov 14 the Zionist army assassinated Hamas’ Ahmad al-Jabari and body guard, I wasn’t in Gaza, nor earlier on Nov 5th when an Israeli soldier shot and killed a mentally disabled man in his early twenties on land near the border, nor the days in between when Israeli soldiers killed 13 year old soccer-playing Ahmed Abu Daqqa, then days later shelled a mourning tent killing 4 and injuring at…

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break glass pull handle

masala chai makes my piss smell like incense, holding myself and dizzy with it I stand in a froth of me it would be easy to die surrounded by friends equally as willing to die there is an instant when you feel truly as completely a thing of machine, a wholing distance in teargas clouds like masala chai gloam there is a great power in standing beside a friend, a glory to battle that we’ve tried with reason to deglorify sense in nonsense or a structure of nonsense, the things we believe the images we are packed with of people fucking each other a contiguous human fungus of sex, missiles that seek heat and poison gases that can taste fear that move through the air hungry panting like animal; Palestinians do not laugh the way we laugh in the west, rocking onto the balls of our feet collecting the laughter in the backs of our throats holding it there and each of us bubbling out of our mouths filling the air with a violence of laughter boiling soup we splutter

The missiles are good. They force the Palestinians not to forget that they are occupied, they undermine the occupation, the silence of the occupation the slow snow drop battle that teaches everyone here, “you raise your hand to your master and your master will staple your hand to a wall, sit the fuck down,” 10 year old boys with palestinian flags tied around their necks with rocks in your hands what do you fight for? For your family, your father who cries; here it is not unmanly to cry to come home at the end of a day and remember the family you’ve lost and not to eat dinner not to watch tv not to fuck your wife but cry, spend maybe 3 or 4 hours after work, “ahmad i’d love to sit and chat but i gotta get home. gotta turn on the waterworks, you know, gotta let it all out, gotta wet myself and i have to make sure my children see, i have to stifle my tears in my hands try to push them back into my eyes, try to keep my mouth moist though it dries with the sobbing, it’s funny that isn’t it? how dry your mouth becomes when you cry, all that moisture… All that moisture you think I’d be able to keep my mouth moist! Hah! Ahmad! Ahmad? Ahmad– Sense in nonsense the sticks that hold up the sky, the machines that keep us alive, the gods that built us, the metaphysics that are as eggbeaters how we churn, how we Love in unlove the violent nuance of conglomeration of people on people a contiguous fungus of fuck, the things we believe the missiles that hang above us unknowing the ways we wake up and fall asleep and fear and laugh and cover up our filth and hold ourself and– violence and nonviolence how gray everything becomes when the heart remembers but the brain forgets but the body acts out or the heart acts out and the body forgets and– To convince. To know what’s right but to be against a machine of power that leaks hate on the floor sticky

Does it matter that israel is villainizing itself further? What happens when the tide of media changes and no one cares again? Whose hand is being forced with these hand-me-down rockets; like always a sense of waiting for something to happen but not at all sure what; someone must always die be stabbed in the eyes and raped and defiled aborted by blunt force, right? That’s how it goes–The things we care about briefly, i would die here if i only knew how how hard it is to kill yourself right how much meditation how many mechanisms there are to protect us ambulances and bandages and gauzes and people on watch always, a society whose sole purpose is to make sure that people don’t just kill themselves–violence in nonviolence, love your enemy

hawwara